From the mother of  a girl age 3 at adoption:

I brought our daughter home just about 6 months ago just after she turned 3. She is wonderful! I do have an older bio daughter, and I think that has helped alot - -the two of them bonded very quickly and the younger
one has probably learned as much or more from her adored elder sister as from anyone else.

Once I took my daughter from everything she knew, she sort of bonded immediately; though not in the most positive sense; I would say that I was more an anchor than anything else. EVERYthing was new and different; I was the only thing that was familiar. I figure she was abducted by aliens -- We've turned out to be pretty good
aliens, but in the beginning, who was to know?

She has not really shown any grieving -- but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think she might be waiting until she has more language. She has a lot to tell us, it's very frustrating for her not to be able to say
it! In many ways, this is the most difficult thing about starting with someone who is 3ish. They are just learning to express themselves in their first language, and then that gets taken away from them and they have to start all over (at least for our family; no one speaks her native language).

She is just now beginning to be able to express concepts. She is perfectly willing to let us know if she's hurt or sad -- and she has a fine set of lungs to prove it.

She spent the first month velcroed to me. She came with no English, but with excellent survival skills (if I point to my crotch, you'll take me to the potty, if I put my arms up and block your way, you will pick me up and love me).

She was completely silent for close to two months -- and then began to use very simple single words. Now she is adding a few words every day -- she still has a very strong accent, and still, I think, uses her native grammar
but we understand a lot of what she is saying (except when she launches into her long complicated stories) and her teachers are too.

She started school 2 mornings a week at the end of June; she didn't say a word in school until September, when she cut herself and said "Ow!" She's now in school 4 days a week and is really enjoying it. The teachers and
kids like her and I think it has really helped her adjustment -- there are huge gaping holes in her knowledge base and preschool helps fill some of those in. For example, I don't think she'd ever had a pair of shoes on before I brought her some, she'd never seen a car seat, a flush toilet, had a hot bath, or been to a grocery store (never mind a pumpkin patch on a crisp NewEngland day!).

Having raised one daughter from birth (and before), I must say that there is something to be said for starting out with a child who comes sleeping through the night and able to make her needs known. The transition for her,
and for us, has been both easier and slower than I expected - I didn't think the language would take as long as it does (as it turns out, from the kids I know, it takes a year to a year and a half for a pre-reading kid to gain
fluency).

On the other hand, our daughter is pretty darn sure that we are going to adore her no matter what -- and, being 3 1/2, feels very comfortable testing us just to make sure.

She was brought to the orphanage when she was about a year old. I don't know where she was before that. The story that you will generally hear all over India is that the kids are well-loved. The women who cared for the
kids in this orphanage obviously loved them. Nobody cried for more than about 20 seconds before they were picked up and cuddled. The little ones were always on someone's hip, and they got lots of attention. She came from a very small orphanage; maybe 23 or 25 kids and 7 or 8 ayahs.

I feel very very lucky -- my daughter is delightful and has folded herself into the family amazingly easily. I wish everyone had an experience like this!