As a white-skinned traveler (and especially if you have blond hair and blue eyes), you may be asked to pose for pictures with people you bump into in public places. This costs you little and brings joy to the requester, so there's every reason to say yes and smile broadly.

If you are traveling in India with an adopted child, people may be very curious about your family, and how this adoption thing "works". The best thing to do is answer their questions thoughtfully and honestly, emphasizing that in America people of different background "mix" a lot more than in some other places. One common response to anticipate is, "Then maybe you'll adopt me also!" This is typically said in jest, but there is an element of truth in it. A good response to this is a friendly laugh, followed by, "Sorry, no visa for you, only for child with no parents". And, if someone tells you that your child is probably an "untouchable", the best response is (while hugging your child), "Well, **I** love to touch her!"

It's best to speak little of the fees paid in international adoptions, as these are likely to be misunderstood. However, it never hurts to remind people that adoptions in India are governed by the High Court, and you have a judgment from a High Court Judge making you the mother or father of your child. When you hear the inevitable, "Oh, your child is so lucky!" make sure to say, "Oh, we are lucky too. Surely there must be someone in your family who cannot have children. You know how sad it is in a house with no children. Now we are happy because of this child." If people question how you can love a child who is not biologically related to you, you can remind them of the parallels between marriage and adoption. Both are lifetime commitments between people who are not related by blood, but who agree to take care of each other until death. People really understand this!

One thing that always goes over big in India is a small photo album containing photos of your family, home, pets, common activities, neighborhood, schools, community, and special events like birthdays, holidays, and parades. Try to avoid pictures that emphasize all the things we have in favor of pictures that emphasize friends and family. If you are traveling with an adopted child, make sure to include photos with cousins, grandparents and other extended family members.

Gifts to Bring for Special People

It is customary to bring gifts when visiting people you know in India. Your gifts needn't be expensive or large, and they should be things that aren't heavy and don't take up much space in your suitcase. Here are some gift ideas that are bound to please:

· Packages of brightly-colored hair scrunchies for women and girls

· Small bottles of perfume or cologne for men or women

· Small packages of scented soap or talcum powder

· Bags of individually wrapped hard candies (soft ones will melt in the heat)

· Plastic placemats, tea towels or lightweight coasters with scenes of America

· Keychains with American motifs

· CDs or cassette tapes of popular American music for teens

· Paint-with-water books (with brushes securely taped to the front) for small children

· Calendars with scenes of America

· Miniature flashlights

· Small, self-contained toolkits for men, or small screwdrivers with interchangeable blades

· Inexpensive digital travel alarms

· Pen and pencil sets

These are only a few ideas, and you'll probably think of plenty more. Try to look for items that are distinctively American, but not too heavy or expensive. Have fun!

Shopping Advice

There are more and more shops with fixed prices in India, but bargaining is still the rule. Since Americans are not accustomed to bargaining, we worry about paying more than we should. One of the best ways to ensure fair pricing is to shop with an Indian person. If that isn't possible, look for shops with fixed prices. Most larger cities in India have a Central Cottage Industries Emporium, where you can find a wide range of handicraft items from all over India at very reasonable -- but fixed -- prices. These emporia are very pleasant to shop in; as you move from counter to counter, items you decide to buy will be whisked away from you and wrapped carefully. At the end, you'll present your receipts, pay the total, and take your wrapped purchases away.

If you want to try a little bargaining, you will find yourself more successful if you are purchasing multiple items rather than a single item. For instance, if you want to buy 6 kurta-pyjama sets and the proprietor is asking for Rs.600 each, you might select 5, hesitate over the 6^th, set it aside, and make as if to pay for the 5 pieces. At the last moment, you can then put your hand on the 6^th item, and say, "Six for 3000, OK?" This effectively lowers the price to Rs.500 each, and there's a good chance your offer will be accepted.

Another good bargaining strategy is to point to some tiny visible flaw of the item you want (a smudge, a dangling thread, a missing button) and shake your head while clucking your tongue softly. Then shift your attention to another item for a while. When you come back to the original item, offer to pay a little less than the asking price due to the flaw. Of course, if the proprietor has an identical item without the flaw, this strategy will fail. But it's definitely worth a try.

Jewelry made of gold and precious stones cannot typically be bargained for, but if you are interested in purchasing a costly item like a rug, a statue, a piece of furniture, etc., you can use the "head for the door" strategy. Suppose you see a rug that you love, and are quoted a price that is higher than you can afford to pay. In this case, neither the "quantity discount" nor the "focus on the flaw" strategy will be appropriate. In fact, it probably helps to admire the quality of the item and the workmanship that went into it, while protesting that you are not a rich person and simply cannot afford to buy it. (Protesting that the item won't fit in your suitcase won't help you, since the proprietor can easily ship the item to your home address if you don't want to carry it). After finishing your tour of the store, thank the proprietor and cast a last admiring glance at the item you want to purchase. Chances are, the proprietor will offer you a discount on the spot. If you want to reduce the price further, slowly head for the door. If you don't get a better offer by the time you are out the door, begin walking away from the shop. If this doesn't yield a better price, go away from a while and then come back. This strategy should get you a much better price than the original price, but don't do it if you aren't serious about the item, or if you would need an incredibly big discount in order to afford it.

Most of the time, items in India are relatively cheap when their price is converted from rupees into dollars. Therefore, there is no point in worrying too much about what you are paying, since you'd pay a lot more for souvenirs in Europe or the U.S.A. If you think someone is cheating you, whether that person is a taxi driver, pushcart vendor, or shopkeeper, try not to let it bother you too much. Think of the pleasure you are giving the person, and how little it costs you.

When you enter certain high-quality shops in India, the proprietor will offer you a place to sit and a cup of tea. If you have time and don't mind being incented to purchase something, go ahead and take it. If you decline, you may hear protests about turning down his hospitality, but don't take them too seriously. Just say, "no, thank you, I've just had" (even if it's a fib) in a nice tone of voice. If the offer comes again, say, "I really don't have time, but thank you anyway". As long as you're pleasant about it, don't worry about giving offense -- after all, you are the customer, and the shopkeeper's number one priority is to sell you something, not to give you a good time.

One thing that tends to unnerve American shoppers is the way items are pulled off the shelves and unfurled in front of you. If you are shopping for a sari, the shopkeeper and his assistants could easily unfurl 25 or 30 saris while you search for the one you want. If you don't buy in that shop, you'll feel especially bad, thinking of how much effort will be required to refold each item. In actuality, the constant refolding of items provides employment for people who need the work to support their families. It just comes with the territory. Also, an Indian person shopping in the same store might ask to see 100 saris before selecting one to purchase. So try not to let the mess bother you too much.

If you are purchasing clothing in India, it helps to have the measurements of the people you are shopping for. Sizing marked in garments is totally unreliable, so measuring the length of a sleeve or leg or skirt is the only way to know that you're getting the right size. You'd be well advised to write down measurements of people you need to buy for in your travel notebook, and bring a paper or vinyl tape measure with you when you're shopping.

If you're a woman buying for yourself, you may encounter the claim that a given item is "free size" (one size fits all). Sometimes things really are sized that way (to fit the average Indian woman), but this can also be said to encourage you to buy the item no matter what size you are. Since fitting rooms are rare in most small shops, this is another good time to bring out your measurement notes and your tape measure to determine if the item will really fit you. If the item would need substantial altering to fit, and you aren't adept with a sewing machine, don't let the shopkeeper talk you into purchasing it. Indian people often don't realize how rare and costly tailors are in America.

All in all, the best advice for shopping in India is to exercise your pleasant politeness. If you aren't interested in entering a store or don't want to purchase something offered to you, say, "No, thank you" in a nice tone of voice and move on. If the shopkeeper won't take no for an answer, keep moving and repeating yourself until he gives up. If you see something you like, and come to an agreement on the price, enjoy the moment. You might even want to take a photo of the shop, and the staff, for your memory book. Chances are you'll end up purchasing lots of wonderful treasures to bring home with you, and when you add up all the costs, you'll be amazed how little you spent.

Photography Tips

When traveling in India, there are interesting things to photograph everywhere you turn. If you want lots of great pictures to keep as reminder of your big adventure, then keep your camera out at all times, bring lots of film, and snap away. For every two or three "so-so" pictures, you'll end up with one great one that will take your breath away. Later on you can enlarge and frame the best ones to hang in your home or give away as gifts. What does "lots of film mean"? It depends on how serious you are about taking pictures, but one 24-exposure roll per day of your trip should be a bare minimum. It's true that film is available all over India, but you may not be able to find the brand or speed you want, and you may also find that some of the film is out-dated and not worth the price.

If you are going to wear it all the time, you are well advised to bring a small and relatively simple camera. Having something weighing a pound hanging around your neck for two or three weeks can be really annoying. If you put your camera away, you'll miss half the great shots you see. Often, the moment you want to capture will be a very brief one, and if you are the type who fiddles with lenses and focus, you'll be too late. Having a zoom lens can be very helpful if you want to capture close-ups of ordinary people on the streets without being too intrusive, but you need to balance this against the weight of the zoom lens and the time required to get the right degree of magnification.

Unless you have a slide projector and use it frequently, you should bring color print film to India. It is very expensive to convert slides to prints or prints to slides, so you'll definitely have to choose one or the other and live with your decision. Make sure to change your camera's battery before your trip, and bring a spare one with you. (Check to see if you need to bring a small screwdriver as well, to open the battery compartment). Fast film (ISO 400) is recommended for India, so that you can take good photos indoors or out, with less movement-related blurring.

The light in India is very strong and shadows can be very heavy, so it's important to pay attention to the direction of the sun when lining up a picture. Shooting into the sun won't get you great results, and if there are people in the foreground, their faces will be too dark to recognize. Another error that many people make is not getting close enough to their subjects. To really capture what you're seeing, you need to move in until your subject completely fills the camera's frame.

Sometimes you are faced with a dilemma when photographing people in India. For instance, the outdoor barber chairs that are often found in Indian cities are a fascinating sight, but if you were getting a shave in public, would you want to be photographed? Similarly, a group of pathetic beggars may be something you want to remember, but how do you feel about taking their photograph as if they were exhibits in a museum? Sometimes, there are photos you just shouldn't take. At other times, it's nice to ask for permission before taking a photo. If you can catch the person's eye and say, "photo?" you'll typically be acknowledged with a diagonal head waggle indicating that it's OK to proceed. If not, then it's best to move on.

If people ask you to take their picture or pose with you, it's nice to oblige. Sometimes they will give you their address and ask for a copy of the picture. Most people say yes, but rarely follow through. However, if you do follow through, you can feel very good about the bit you've done for international relations. Connecting with people, person to person, is part of the reason to come to India. Don't miss the opportunity to record these moments with your camera.

Phones, Mail and E-Mail

Most people in India don't have phones in their homes, and if they do, they don't have long-distance or international service. In many parts of India, it can take 10 years of waiting to get a phone installed, or even longer if you aren't willing to bribe the right person. Worst of all, the phone lines are typically lousy, and they seem to go out of service frequently. Small wonder that more and more people in India are using cell phones, whose digital networks are much more reliable, especially in heavily populated areas.

India's phone system is being modernized very quickly, and because of this, many phone numbers are changing from five to six to seven digits. Numbers published in a guidebook or on a hotel's website may go out of date quickly. Even if you think you know someone's number, do your best to verify its accuracy before you leave for India. While telephone directories and operator assistance are available in some places, you can't count on finding someone's latest number that way.

If you have a cell phone in America, there's no point in bringing it to India, because it won't work there. Neither will the new "international" cell phones being touted by some cellular companies. However, you may be able to arrange for the rental of an Indian cell phone upon your arrival, if you really need it. Otherwise, you'll have to use the regular phone system the way most Indians do.

Most hotels offer long-distance and international service either directly from your room or through the hotel's switchboard. If you need to make a call while you are out and about, keep your eyes open for the nearest ISD/STD/PCO booth. These are manned phone booths where you can make calls overseas (ISD), long-distance in India (STD) or locally (PCO). Long-distance charges in India aren't too bad, but overseas charges are pretty expensive. If you need to call the States frequently, or to talk for more than a few minutes, be prepared to fork over a lot of dough. To avoid running up big charges, ask in advance for the rates, and decide how long you want to talk before you make your call.

If you want to purchase stamps to mail postcards to the USA, ask the desk clerk at your hotel if someone can perform this errand for you. Otherwise, you'll have to determine where the nearest post office is, when it's open, and spend quite a long time moving from line to line (one line to say what you want, another line to pay, a final line to pick up your stamps). All of this will be recorded manually in a huge ledger book. (One wonders if the millions of enormous ledgers all over India -- relics of the Raj -- would be helpful as fuel for cooking fires). If you do have to visit a post office, treat it as a chance to observe another fascinating aspect of Indian life, and take time to admire the way it all works.

These days, travelers' phone calls and postcards have been superceded by e-mail messages to their loved ones back home. Unbelievably, there are cybercafes on almost every street corner in towns and cities all over India. The rates vary depending on where you are, but Rs.50 per hour (a little over a dollar) is a typical rate. You can ask your hotel's front desk or any local shopkeeper to point you to the nearest cybercafe when you want to send email. Sometimes they are crowded and you'll have to wait your turn for a workstation. Before you do this, find out what the connection speed is likely to be, and move on to another cybercafe if it seems to be on the slow side. More and more cybercafes now have reliable high-speed lines, so don't settle for long waits as each screen paints at a miserable 24,000 baud. It's definitely worth going a little further afield, and spending more if you have to, to get a quicker response.

Since the word "reliable" has a different meaning in India than in the USA, be aware that you could lose your connection at any minute. This means sending fewer, shorter emails with more addressees listed on them rather than long, personal messages to each friend or family member. If you are sending a long message, try to save it periodically to ensure that you won't lose it if you lose your line.

Most major American e-mail providers offer Internet e-mail services, enabling you to send and receive e-mail from your usual address from any web browser connected to the Internet. Make sure to try this before you leave from a friend's PC or your local library, so you understand the steps required to log in. If your e-mail provider doesn't offer this service, you can get a free Internet e-mail address from Hotmail.com or Yahoo.com, among others. Again, make sure to set this up and check it out before you leave for India.